yes!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

S-M-I-T-H!

In 58 days, I'm going to be marrying this man!

And becoming Mrs. Smith!

(oh, and all my dreams of never having to spell my last name were crushed yesterday when I was on the phone with someone, trying to reserve hotels rooms for the "Smith Wedding-Party")

Hotel: "What is the name of the party?"
Me: "Smith"
Hotel: "Schmitt?"
Me: "No, SMITH!"
Hotel: "Schmitt?"
Me: "No, Smith: S-M-I-T-H!"


(But, I've never been happier to spell a last name.....!!)

taxes!

Hello tax-season! Hello turbo-tax!
(exclamation-marks do not necessarily denote genuine excitement.)


So, while using the helpful services of TurboTax yesterday...I kept getting barraged by ads to "upgrade" (aka: pay) for these helpful online tools.



Please see below:

and a little closer-up:


Now, I realize that I'm a designer...and I posses a certain amount of artistic skills (and therefore may be a little biased) BUT WHAT IN THE WORLD IS THAT!? Genetically-modified, gray-oval-head cows? And a face-less, umbrella-toting ghost?

TurboTax, you're trying to tell me that it pays to be prepared...?
Well, I'm telling you that it pays to hire....well....people who can actually draw cows.



yikes.

is it wrong...

....that I think this is genius?

"A guerilla campaign for Superette is leaving quite an impression (haha) on New Zealanders. By putting indented plates across the inner city and fashion district bus stops, mall seats and park benches, those who sat down wearing short shorts or skirts walked away with an ad campaign imprinted on the back of their legs."


Maybe it's because I work in the marketing-world, or maybe it's because I'm sick of swaddling all of my body in multiple layers of stockings and scarves...but this has definitely just made my day.

(And makes me dream of wearing shorts again.)

you call this a THIN?

I found this in my box of WheatThins.

Let me introduce you to the....

WheatTHICK.

(pictured on the right is a normal cracker. On the left....well...a WheatThick.)

*also, note to self: don't try eating an awkardly-thick WheatThin. It was disgusting.

poor pup

My dear friend Amy recently wrote about an unfortunate nail-clipping experience she had...which made me immediately cringe with the memory of my own very-similar incident.

Fortunately, mine did not involve a small-human (like her’s did)...
UNfortunately, mine did involve a whole lot more blood...

(if you get queezy reading about the red-stuff...stop reading now.)

So, the story begins with our precious little pup, Piper. (I use the term “our” somewhat loosely here, since the dog is actually my sister’s)....But, we live together- so by default I have kindof adopted the pooch. Maybe this would be considered something along the lines of common-law dog-ownership?

Anyways, this dog (as cute and as well-behaved as she may be) DOES NOT LET YOU CUT HER NAILS!!!!
And if you know anything about dog-ownership (and the coinciding requirements of dog-grooming), you’ll know that nail-cutting is a vital component of dog-maintenance.

So, since Piper has been winning all of our attempted nail-cutting battles lately- I decided to be the nice big-sister/faux-dog-owner...and do a little sneaky snip-snip.

FAIL.

Well, I should clarify: the sneaky-part worked. The snipping-part worked.....a little too well....
(and the fact that Piper was napping smack-dab in the middle of Karen’s white bedspread only compounded the issue)

Soooo....immediately after making the fatal-snip, blood begins to GUSH from this poor little puppy’s paw. (I swear I didn’t hurt her, because she didn’t even make a peep.) However, as I saw a growing puddle of blood on Karen’s bed, I knew that I had to act...fast!

There is no way for me to explain the amount of blood squirting from this dog’s paw...it was everywhere...! Rushing her to the bathroom resulted in a blood-trail through the house, and as I tried to “rinse” her paw...all of her flailing-attempts to escape the water caused blood to splash on the sink, on the mirror, on the walls....(and I kid you not)...the CEILING.

I had to do a quick google search: “how to stop your dog from bleeding to death from nail-clipping”, I was told to put a compress on the paw, and wrap it in ace-bandages, so that it won’t get infected...or start to bleed again. (uhhhm, and maybe normal people have a steady supply of ace-bandages on hand at all times, but not this house.) So, next-best thing? A sock?

So I quarantined bloody-sock-Piper and myself to the bathrooom for almost an hour...(because I wasn't about to let her bloody-up any other part of our house...)




BUT here is your take-away from this potentially tragic-story.
(well, besides not sneaking up on dogs and clipping nails)

This is the magical-solution to get blood out of ANYTHING!!

• 1 teaspoon dishwashing-soap.
• 1 cup hydrogen-peroxide.

Mix together and spoon onto surface, pat dry, and continue to apply until stain COMPLETELY DISAPPEARS!
(I kid you not...this formula is pure magic.) *also works on wine-stains.

So, I then proceeded to spend the rest of the afternoon with a mug of “magic-clean-up-blood-formula” and a little sponge...dabbing carpets, and couches, and rugs, and bedspreads, and towels, and pretty much everything we own....


And I have sworn off cutting another dog-nail for the rest of my life.
The end.

(best attempt at a sock-bandage?)

(I may have mauled her...but she still loves me.)

sortof.

wish-list:

I feel like this mug would be super-practical for my lifestyle....



maybe a little creepy?...but hey. I'm all about functionality.